The Midget and the Elf

Lyrics and more

The Midget and the Elf

Postby Matt » Sun Jan 23, 2005 12:47 pm

The Midget and the Elf

Oh a fair young elf went out one day, a tavern for to ply
And the randy midget atop the bar he’s ogled her by and by
Ricki-doo-dun-day, doo-dun-day, ricki-dicki-doo-dun-day

Now where have you been all my live-long life, this midget he cried aloud
Well I’m from the woods, but I’ve got the goods, to make the little man stand proud
Ricki-doo-dun-day, etc.

He’s watched her go to a long table, to play at a game of chance
With any real luck, I’ll have a good ****, if I get into that elf-maid’s pants

Now come you here, you blithe young thing, and I’ll give a kiss to thee
Well perhaps you could with a ladder good of thirty steps and three

Well she’d made love for an emerald once, and had but the gem to show
Although she had sold her maidenhead cheap, she never had stooped this low

Now he’s led this elf on up the stairs, though late late was the hour
There never was a sight, by dim candlelight, of an elf in a midget’s bower

Now he’s stroked her up, he’s stroked her down, the nearer he did creep
He could tell at a glance, she was in a light trance, or else she was going to sleep

So he’s laid this elf upon her back, such sights he never did see
The midget’s confession, he’d never had a lesson in elven anatomy

Now she couldn’t quite get comfortable, though wide, wide was the bed
If with a midget you lay, you’ll go the whole way, staring at the top of his head

Now can’t you shift about, she said, for I weary of this view
Well then put your head where your feet were before and I’ll have another round with you.

Now here’s to the elf, the bonny bonny elf, and those words that she later said
If you ever have a midget, you never will ditch it, though you’re looking at his ass or his head
User avatar
The GM
Posts: 2556
Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2004 3:38 pm
Location: Weymouth, MA

Postby Imarë » Mon Jan 24, 2005 11:49 am

I just wanted to reinforce what I had said earlier, this is truly funny! Congratulations and make up more of these (the denizens of Golotha seem to love them).

User avatar
In the Blessed Realm
Posts: 1347
Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2004 8:02 am
Location: Easton, MA

Postby Lord Ewen » Wed Jan 26, 2005 6:02 pm

Thanks, Dave. Actually, I have given some thought to the way the session ended, with the Agrikans reacting to the song in a manner which has certainly opened up new, and potentially hazardous, lines of action and information. And Ewen is aware of the possibility of Mogger responding to the song as well, once word gets around. So clearly one way to play the harper character is to target a song provocatively in an attempt to gain information or provoke some reaction pertinent to the events at hand. Pending, of course, sufficient time and inspiration on my side between sessions (a by no means certain thing).

Perhaps we might use this corner of the forum to suggest topics, themes, or name drops Ewen could use in a song. Of course, I refrain from making any promises...

To kick things off, I have some fairly specific thoughts on a song honoring Beraga, and think I could pull it off before session 21. Sort of an attempt to make embalming sexy :wink: Any ideas regarding a theme I might seed into the verses, which might get us a fruitful reaction when Ewen plays the thing publicly?
User avatar
Lord Ewen
Posts: 1055
Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2004 3:27 pm
Location: Greensboro, NC

Return to Ewen's Tunes

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest